Moms of Tweens and Teens

The Popular Girls: How To Help Your Daughter Seek Healthy Friendships, Interview with Dr. Mary Kaspar

Episode 65

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Hi Friend,

Welcome to the show today. I’m so glad that you’re here.

Today my special guest is Dr. Mary Kaspar, who has recently released the groundbreaking book The Popular Girls: Helping Your Daughter with Adolescent Power Struggles - 7 Steps for Flourishing.

What Dr. Kaspar shares in this episode was fascinating to me because she deconstructs popularity and its links to our girls/well-being and how the type of popularity that most girls crave is not the type that will improve their lives.

She explains how gaining power and status (which she calls relational aggression) is a big part of popularity and the behaviors that we need to be on the lookout for. She also shares the two different kinds of popularity, what’s happening in the teen brain to cause them to crave popularity and how to help our daughters navigate friendships, what to do when they are left out and how to recognize if your daughter is the mean girl and so much more!

Let's dive in!

What you will learn: 

  • What is relational aggression. 
  • Why does it seem like the “mean girls” are sucessful at gaining power among peers?
  • What the two different kinds of popularity are and how teens gain.
  • What is happening in our teen’s brains that make them crave popularity and urges for increased status.
  • How to help our daughters navigate popularity. Dr. Kaspar has 7 roadmaps. 
  • Recognizing signs of relational aggression. 
  • Knowing how to distinguish the difference between what is control in relationships and what is connection. 
  • How do you know if your daughter is a mean girl? What are the signs to look for?
  • Understanding the sophisticated social behaviors involved in achieving high social status.
  • Things that we can do that will help our kids view the world differently in regards to how we treat people.
  • How to help your daughter if she’s being left out. 

Where to find Dr. Kaspar:

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